In Ephesians 3:14-15, St Paul writes: “This then is what I pray, kneeling before the Father from whom every fatherhood in heaven or on earth takes its name.” Like elsewhere in the Scriptures, God is referred to as Father. Here he is portrayed as the mould and origin of fatherhood.
Our attitude makes all the difference. Therefore, how we view marriage and fatherhood will determine our approach to our vocation as parent. Marriage is a sacrament and the couple must be open to fertility. “By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory. Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1652).
As fathers, therefore, if we see our children as gifts – and precious gifts at that – we will do all in our power to nurture and guide them to become the best that they can become. We are the first educators of our children passing on “the fruits of the moral, spiritual and supernatural life” (CCC, 1653).
The crucial question, which emerges then is: Who or what is forming and shaping us as fathers? We cannot pass on to our children what we do not have ourselves. We would have to be extremely naïve not to realise that the very definition of family is under attack today and recent events in Trinidad and Tobago have placed this challenge right on our doorsteps.
How do we respond as fathers? How do we ensure that, with all the different messages coming via the mass media (traditional and new), our children are clear about what is right and wrong? First and foremost, we cannot abdicate our responsibility. Our children do not belong to the media; they belong to us. By our examples as fathers we teach our children so much. We have to be good examples.
Our sons will learn that Church and prayer are not only for women if we pray with them and worship with them. Our sons will learn what it means to be a gentleman, and our daughters what to expect from a gentleman, if we teach them. Our children will learn that family is important if we spend quality time with them. But if we are always more concerned about work and things other than family then we mirror to them that these things and not family are our first priority.
The task is indeed a challenging one, but if we take time to reflect on the wonderful gift God has given us to partner with Him in leading our children to the well of salvation, we will pray like the centurion: “Lord I am not worthy to have you under my roof; just give the word and my servant will be healed” (Matthew 8:8).
Peter Timothy is a parishioner of St John the Evangelist, Diego Martin. He is the father of six – four boys and two girls. In July 2012, he will celebrate with his wonderful wife Subina 24 years of marriage. He is a Catholic Bible Institute lecturer.